I'm embarrased-

I am kinda embarrassed with myself for seeking friendships in this way (eye batting). When I was in my 20s, I just went out in a slutty outfit, passed out my # to cute guys who seemed interesting, and took male callers. I dated as a sport. After several attempts to reach me ( I never accepted the call the 1st couple of times) I would go on a date. I ignored the guy during diner, halfway ignored the guy when on the phone, pretended to listen (by nodding my head and making eye contact), enjoyed the ride - and then after a couple of dates (if not bored to tears yet) allowed the guy to kiss me- then , (if not repulsed) had sex - then (if not ashamed or grossed out) accepted his proposal for other dates- It was pure entertainment. - Those were the good times.

And now I'm batting my eyes at random guys off the street?! I look the same as when I was 26ish - My mind matured - I grew up and realized that men are people with feelings (and the male ego). In my life's trials I grew a heart that beats with empathy for men - Oh nooooooo! Having a heart as a woman is Kryptonite.

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